7 clever ways to deal with someone who always gives unsolicited (and unwanted) advice

From the Personal Branding Blog

If you’ve ever found yourself on the receiving end of constant, unsolicited advice, you know how frustrating it can be.

Whether it’s a friend, family member, or coworker, some people just can’t resist offering solutions—even when you’re not looking for them.

The good news?

There are ways to navigate these tricky interactions.

By employing a few clever tactics, you can politely steer the conversation in a new direction, set boundaries, or even humor the advice-giver without letting it get under your skin.

Here are seven effective strategies to handle unwanted advice.

1) Polite redirection

We’ve all been there: You’re casually chatting, and suddenly, you’re being bombarded with unrequested advice.

So what do you do?

The key is to master the art of polite redirection.

Polite redirection is all about subtly steering the conversation back onto safer ground.

It’s about acknowledging their input (because let’s face it, they probably mean well), but also reclaiming control of the situation.

You can do this by saying something like, “I appreciate your thoughts on this, but right now I’m more interested in hearing about [insert new topic here]”.

This way, you acknowledge their advice (keeping things cordial) while also moving the conversation away from the unwanted advice zone.

2) The ‘been there, done that’ response

Sometimes, dealing with excessive advice-givers requires a bit of personal storytelling.

Trust me, I learnt this the hard way.

There was this one time when a friend would constantly give me unsolicited advice about my career.

It wasn’t that I didn’t value her input, but the frequency and intensity of her advice were wearing me thin.

So, one day, I decided to share a personal story with her.

I said, “You know, there was a time when I was really struggling with my career decisions. But what helped me the most was figuring things out on my own. It was tough, but it was also incredibly empowering.”

By doing this, I subtly communicated that while I appreciated her concern, I needed space to make my own decisions and learn from my own experiences.

It worked wonders!

Soon after that conversation, the unsolicited advice reduced significantly.

3) The power of ‘thank you’

Now, this might sound a bit counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to defuse the situation is simply to say “thank you” and move on.

Research has shown that expressing gratitude can actually make you feel better.

It releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for making us feel happy and content.

It’s the same chemical that gets released when we eat chocolate or fall in love!

So, next time someone gives you unsolicited advice, simply respond with a “Thank you for your insight, I’ll think about it.”

This takes the wind out of their sails, makes you feel better, and keeps the conversation from escalating.

It’s a clever way of handling the situation without causing a fuss or feeling overwhelmed by their advice.

4) Set boundaries

Now, there comes a time when subtlety may not do the trick.

In such cases, you need to be a bit more assertive and set clear boundaries.

Setting boundaries is about communicating your needs and expectations in a respectful yet firm manner.

It’s about saying, “I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer if we didn’t discuss this topic.”

It might feel a bit uncomfortable initially, especially if you’re used to keeping the peace.

So, don’t be afraid to speak up and establish those boundaries.

It’s not only a sign of self-respect but also an effective way to handle unsolicited advice.

5) Embrace the silence

I’ll be honest, I used to be terrified of silence.

In conversations, I would often fill every pause, every quiet moment with words—any words.

But with time, I realized that silence can be a powerful tool, especially when dealing with unsolicited advice.

When you’re given advice you didn’t ask for, it’s okay to not respond immediately.

Let there be a moment of silence.

This can catch the advice-giver off guard and subtly communicate your disinterest in the advice without having to say it explicitly.

Embracing silence has helped me regain control of many conversations.

It might feel a little awkward at first, but with practice, it becomes an invaluable tool in your communication arsenal.

6) Use humor

Humor can be a great way to ease tension and deflect unwanted advice.

A light-hearted comment or a playful joke can change the tone of the conversation and shift the focus away from the unsolicited advice.

For instance, if someone is giving you advice on your diet, you could say something like, “Thanks, but with my cooking skills, I’m just happy if I don’t burn the kitchen down!”

It’s important to keep the humor light and non-confrontational.

The goal is to diffuse the situation and steer the conversation in a different direction, not to offend or belittle the other person.

7) Be honest

At the end of the day, honesty is often the best policy.

If someone is persistently offering unwanted advice, it may be time for an open, honest conversation.

Share your feelings without attacking their character.

Use “I” statements to express how you feel, such as “I feel overwhelmed when I receive a lot of advice, and I need some space to make my own decisions.”

Honesty can lead to understanding, respect, and ultimately, change.

It’s not always easy, but it’s often the most effective way to deal with unsolicited advice.

In the end: It’s about respect

The dance of human interaction is a complex one, filled with nuances and subtleties.

When it comes to dealing with unsolicited advice, it’s essential to remember that respect is the cornerstone of all healthy relationships.

It’s the foundation upon which we can build understanding, empathy, and compassion.

So, while navigating through the sea of unwanted advice can feel daunting, remember that your response can influence not only your relationship with the advice-giver but also their behavior towards others!

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