Would You Date Someone Who Smokes?

I Asked 12 Fellow Nonsmokers the Same Question. Admittedly, I’m a bit square: I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I don’t smoke. That includes cigarettes, cigars, pot, or whatever else you can puff on (I really wouldn’t know). Last week, in an effort to push my boundaries, a smoker acquaintance posed a question to me in no uncertain terms: “Would you date someone who smokes?”

I crinkled my nose at the thought of the smell and immediately pictured a pack of cigarettes on a nightstand next to a fat plastic lighter. That image, along with the imagined sound of Camels being unwrapped and “packed” was enough for me to give a pretty definite “NO.” I thought about it more and realized, sadly, how that makes my already thin dating pool even shallower. I have enough hang-ups about intellect and politics, and on top of being a good old homosexual, there’s this “no smoking” issue.

Anyway, I decided that there were numerous reasons why I probably wouldn’t date a smoker – and probably some sociocultural ones why I hadn’t really dated any in the past. For me, it’s some combination of the health risk (both for him and for me as a secondary inhaler), the pervasive smell, and the taste of kissing a smoker. Then there’s the additional fact that most of my family smoked and it grossed me out from a very early age.

Naturally curious about the thoughts of others, I decided to ask an unscientific sampling of nonsmokers the same question that was posed to me: “Would you date someone who smokes?”

Below are the replies I received – some via email and some transcribed from conversations. [Yes, I actually approached strangers in public and told them what I was working on.]

Daniel, 34, retail salesperson – in public
“I don’t know. I guess it not that big a deal. But you know, it’s just kinda gross. You know how people say you get to kiss an ashtray? *laughs* Maybe if she was really hot, I guess, or if I had a bad habit that she forgave me for.”

Emily, 22, barista – in public
“On the right kind of guy, it works. Not, like, the Marlboro man or anything. *pauses* He’d have to smoke outside for sure. I have been cool with it previously.”

Damien, 29, counselor – via email
“I hate going out to bars and coming home with that smoke smell locked into my clothes. It’s also a big turn off when I see an attractive girl reach for a light, so my answer is probably no. But you never know. The less she smokes, certainly the better.”

LeeAnn, 27, grad student – via email
“I make a distinction between people who smoke on occasion and people who smoke all the time. Pack-a-day smokers and I would never work out, but I can handle someone who only did it once a week. The other distinction I’d make is between just dating someone and actually living with them. Smoking would never be okay in my apartment. My current boyfriend does not smoke.”

Thom, 19, landscaper – in public
“Would I date someone who smokes? Doesn’t make a difference to me as long as she ain’t coughin’ up blood or nothin’.”

Kelly, 39, administrative assistant – in public
“It’s funny that you should ask. One of the reasons my last boyfriend and I broke up is that he smoked all the time and I was always trying to get him to quit, supposedly. I definitely wanted him to stop, you know. It’s bad for him, and it’s expensive too.”

Tisha, 35, bus driver – in public
“It’s a dirty habit. I used to smoke but I gave it up when I got pregnant. *grins* Now that I’m a mom, it’s like if I could do it while dealing with a baby on the way and all that, then you could [stop smoking] too.”

Diane, 51, McDonald’s employee – in public
“Haha, at my age, I can’t turn nobody down. *laughs* It’s not the most important thing. It they love you, that’s what’s important.”

Terrence, 25, teacher – via email
“I have dated guys who smoke, but I prefer that they don’t. One thing I can’t tolerate is a cigar odor but that has never come up.”

Sandi, 23, leasing specialist – in public
“It’s never been a problem for me. The types of guys I like are usually pretty athletic and educated about the risks and most of them just don’t smoke.”

Sam, 29, unemployed – in public
“My husband smokes. He’s cut down a lot since we first met. I fell for him so hard when we were getting to know each other, and you just end up caring less about that and more about, you know, can I live with this person for the rest of my life?”

Todd, 44, case worker – over the phone
“Just do it outside or keep the habit away from me so that I am not breathing the smoky air. If she uses Listerine and tries to not let the smoking become a hygiene issue, I can be flexible. When you’re dating someone you have to compromise, and smoking is one of those things I can accept in small doses.”

So, if you are a nonsmoker, would *you* date someone who smokes? If so, under what circumstances? Does it depend on the person and how frequently they smoke and where they do it? Is there a difference between cigarettes and other substances, like pot? And if you are a smoker, “social” or daily, how do you feel about the article above? Please leave a comment if you have any thoughts to share. http://healthtips365.net/would-you-date-someone-who-smokes/